im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
