its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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