Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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