Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize