I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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