just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
