Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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