he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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