So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
