i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
