You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
