Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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