No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize