My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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