If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
