didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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