If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
