well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
