If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
