where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
