Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
