just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
