Christians are straight up FREAKS
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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