if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
