I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
