just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
