I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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