He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
