Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she smelled like a LAN party
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
