Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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