I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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