Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize