There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
