So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
