I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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