wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
