brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
