I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
