when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
