literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
