Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
