I love having hate sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize