if i can run in heels then i can drive
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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