these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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