I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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