Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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