I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
