do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
