Whod you bang
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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