just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
