oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
