are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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