if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He felt like a one man threesome
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
