i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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