Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's the barista slut.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
