I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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