If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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