I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
