I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
