That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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