i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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