its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize