This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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