just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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