Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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