I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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