roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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