we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
my poor anus
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
