my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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