if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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